HAIR today...gone tomorrow

Well I want to start by thanking Rachel for coming to my house and making this as painless as possible. She came in the door with a beautiful orchid plant for me, had a great big smile on her face and was encouraging and positive throughout the entire cut. She's so professional, given that I will lose my hair in the coming weeks did not seem to matter, she still embraced the situation as if this were a cut that would be lasting. I sat on a stool in our kitchen, without a mirror anywhere in sight, and continued to watch hair fall to the floor. I was feeling very anxiuos, and all Jerry and Rachel kept saying was how great I looked with short hair. Finally, after about 45 minutes of cutting and primping I was freed to approach the mirror. OMG! It's so flippin' cute! Check it out for yourself - click here. I only wish it would stay like this - but at least I know that in a few months I can get it back to this length. So, what do you think? I'll be interested to read all your comments.

Feeling a little blue - where's the sun?

Angie's parents left yesterday after a week here in the valley. We got to spend a great deal of time with them - mostly just sitting around and either eating or watching TV. Jane (Angie's mom) enjoyed the fact that TIVO can forward past commercials. The weather's been gloomy and rainy the past 2 days, which I think may be adding to Angie's somewhat somber mood. The forecast calls for SUNNY skies tomorrow and the next several days - hoping that those RAYS will give her a boost. I know all the "meds" have to be wreaking havoc - but it's necessary. Rachel, Angie's hair stylist, has agreed to come to our house on Sunday (her day off) to give Angie a haircut. It's about a 40 minute drive from her house - we're so appreciative of her willingness to do this. Angie's taking the advice of her nurse and going super short before the hair loss to soften the blow. We found a website from the American Cancer Society (www.tlcdirect.org) that has reasonable prices on products for hair loss - we placed a large order and expect delivery on Tuesday. Angie's mom and our dear friend Cheryl Conkey are both putting their seamstress skills to work to provide Angie with some "custom-made" headwear. Angie's sister Beth arrives next week from NYC for a week long visit - we're looking forward to that.

1 down...just 15 more to go!

Hi Everyone, Well today was another "first" that I can happily check off my list...My first Chemo treatment - and it went very well. Prior to my treatment I was scheduled for a post-op exam with my surgeon. While waiting for Dr. Janecik in the exam room, Nurse Vicki brought in another Chemo patient who had just completed the same regiment that I was to start today. Vicki thought that it might be helpful to me to be able to talk to Donna about her experience. Donna is this very sweet and energetic and beautiful lady who is probably in her 60's. She told me that she thought she was old enough to be my mother, and that if she could do all 18 treatments so could I! Donna told me to keep my beautiful smile and a positive attitude and that I'd do just great. She lifted her sparkly red cap to expose her bald head and she said, "and I will have hair again!" She told me to call her anytime I wanted/needed to talk....how sweet was she!!! Donna's another Angel that I'm so grateful to have met. After the exam, Dr. Janecik determined that there was still a bit of healing that needed to take place before they could utilize my lower port. The lower port would be used to administer Chemo 2 of the 3 days within an 8 day period. Instead of delaying the Chemo treatments, Dr. Janecik and his aggressive style decided that I could get all 3 days worth of Chemo put into my upper port all in one day!! So that's what we did - it took about 4.5 hours. During treatment I met another Angel, Debbie. Today was her last day for treatment and she was celebrating with friends and family in the treatment room. Debbie strolled over with her I.V. in tow, and talked to me at great length about how to avoid nausea, dealing with hair loss and wearing wigs, keeping a daily record of meds and diet, etc. She gave me lots of great advice which I know will serve me well on this journey...thank you Debbie!! Jerry, always my steady, was fully prepared with a large fully packed tote and cooler, right down to a pair of socks which I gladly traded in my flip-flops for in the first 5 minutes of treatment. The Chemo room (a nice peaceful room with about 12 LA-Z Boy recliners) was standing room only, and it just so happened that the patient sitting next to me was just finishing up her treatment and Jerry got to spend the entire afternoon in the chair right next to me. I couldn't have asked for more, it was such a comfort to have him at my side today....and always. Jerry and I are so in awe at how Dr. Janicek's staff is so caring and personable - the entire staff genuinely cares for the patients as witnessed by the hugs they administer on a regular basis. There was also a great deal of energy drawn from the other patients in the room - lots of sharing and great conversation goes on constantly. There is definitely strength in numbers. Lastly, I am extremely grateful to Jerry for all his love and support, his intense level of caring and his unfathomable love for our family. I couldn't ask for a better partner, husband and best friend!

The genuine kindness is overwhelming

Angie said the other day that she's blown away by the kindness of everyone we encounter, from our family and friends to perfect strangers. I guess the lesson is, it's all around us always - we just easily overlook it in our busy lives. It seems like all we ever take time to recognize and acknowledge is the things that annoy us - we hope to kick that bad habit after this experience and spread and recognize kindness on a regular basis. We are so appreciative of all of you, there are so many cards received, posts to this blog, prepared dinners from neighbors, pajama grams, her sister Patty coming up from Tucson to tend to her and help around the house - and the list goes on. Angie continues to make strides daily. We attended church together this morning, just a couple days over 2 weeks after major surgery - what strength! Her parents are in from Calif. and joined us. Angie and her mom shared a very long emotional embrace when the pastor invited us to say hello and welcome each other. She starts chemo treatments on Tuesday, and again after some initial fears and anxiety (as represented in the prior post) - she's already showing unbelievable courage and strength as we approach this phase. It won't be easy - but I think we all know deep down that she will conquer this phase just as she's done the surgery - she's set the bar high for herself and I know she will leap over it!

It was an emotional day...

We had our appointment yesterday with Kelly the nurse practitioner who checked out my incision and advised all looked great. We then met with Vicki, the chemo nurse, to go over the treatment plan. The plan will last 15 weeks total, I'm scheduled to start next Tuesday and go through mid June. There will be 2 separate drugs administered and each session is about 4 hours in length. I will do one session on Tueday's, then another the next day (Wednesday) - followed by a 3rd one the following Tuesday. Then there's a 13-day period off, then the process starts all over again - a total of 6 cycles. There are many potential side effects, some I have medication for, unfortunately I will lose all my hair - something that I'm having real difficulty with. I ask that you all continue to pray for me as I enter this phase of my healing, I will need it! Kelly did quote a very high percentage chance that this plan will put the disease into remission - that's what I'll focus on as well as lean on my God, family and friends to get me through this next 15 weeks - I know it's not going to be easy. Marlene (Jerry's mom) leaves tonight, there will be more emotions with her departure - we've really enjoyed having her here with us. She's cooked meals, cleaned the house, kept up with the laundry - and most of all has been a great loving "mom" - she truly is a gift from God. My plan is to go with her and Jerry to the airport tonight to see her off. Thanks again for all your kind and encouraging comments left for me - they all touch me deeply.

Feeling stronger every day

Today I actually sat outside a short while, reading my book and taking in some "healing rays" of sun. It was a nice change of scenery and we had a beautiful clear day with the temperature reaching about 76 degrees. I did some laps around the pool, walking of course! Jerry and his mom kept a watchful eye on me - they were fearful I'd fall in and not be able to get out. Jerry took his mom to see one of her dear friends from Arkansas, Kay, who owns a dog boutique less than 5 minutes from the house. Marlene cooked another fabulous dinner for us, Chicken Alfredo. It's been great having her here - sure will miss her when we send her back home on Tuesday (I hope Mac and the kids realize how fortunate they are to have her 24/7). My sister Patty is coming up next week and my parents are also scheduled to arrive next week for an Arizona visit which will include some time in Tucson with Patty and her kids and Matt and his family. Monday we have an appointment to get educated on my treatment plan, a little anxious about it - but know that it's a necessary step to get me healed.

Hello, it's me...

Dear family and friends,

Thank you all for your positive thoughts and loving prayers that have carried me over to what I call "the other side of surgery". I'm beyond ecstatic to be home with my family, I don't know how I would have survived another night in the hospital without Jerry and Kyle. This was a major surgery for me and a major victory, so now all of my thoughts and energy are focused on the healing. My days are great, I settle in on the couch with about 7 pillows in various sizes, my new favorite "healing" fleece throw that Marlene (Jer's mom) brought for me, my heating pad for my lower back, fluids and remotes and I'm good to go. I'm able to get on and off the couch without assistance, which I try to do as often as possible. Once I'm up, I have a path that I like to walk around the house for exercise and I try to walk for several minutes before returning to the couch. My nights are a bit more of a challenge for me but I honestly can't complain as long as I don't have to sleep in that uncomfortable hospital bed. I'm deeply touched by each and every card that I've received. Jerry's threatened to stop bringing me my mail because I get very emotional with every card I read. Not quite ready for phone calls yet - need to build more strength. When I do get around to it, just know that I'm very focused on the next phase (healing) and not really interested in talking about what has occurred. I gain strength from your comments on the blog, I look forward each and every day to what you all have to say to me - this has been a powerful tool.

SHE'S HOME!!!!!

I received a call from Angie at a little after 6 am, advising that one of Dr. Janicek's residents (Dr. Skinner) was in and said things looked terrific and that she'd be losing the catheter today. About 8 am Angie called again and said that Dr. Skinner came back by and mentioned that going home today was a strong possibility. I finished a couple of reports I had to get out for work and made it to the hospital by 9. She was sleeping when I arrived, she awoke about 9:30. She was scheduled to get her IV port placed, she said there were 7 people ahead of her. They finally picked her up at 12:15 to take her down, we had been told she'd be away for about an hour. I ordered her her first REAL FOOD lunch since last Wednesday - a turkey sandwich and of course POTATO SALAD. At 2:15 she was still not back and Dr. Janicek stopped by to see her. I told him she was getting her port and that it had been 2 hours - he said he'd stop by later - said he didn't see a need for her to stay any longer as long as she could eat. She got back to her room about 2:45 pm - ate - then we waited for the doctor. At around 6 pm one of the nurses told us he'd been seen on the floor abd that he'd likely be by. The nurse paged him at 6:45 pm - and finally at about 7:15 just before the nurse shift changed Dr. Jamicek phoned over the "all clear" and Angie signed herself out. She's ecstatic to be home, propped-up with pillows on the couch and enjoying her familiar/comfortable surroundings. She's still re-building her strength, so phone calls are probably a day or 2 away.

More reinforcement arrived!

Patty left this morning, and my mom arrived this afternoon. A special thanks to my Aunt Joanne and her husband Dave for giving mom a Southwest Air voucher allowing her to get her quickly without any financial burden. Tomorrow Angie gets an IV port installed that will aid in the administering of her treatments - we hope to start some solid foods soon so we can get her home. Dr. Janecik will see her in the morning after 2 days off - I expect he'll be thrilled with her progress. She walked quite a bit today and lost a great deal of her swelling as a result. This also aided in the release of the gases and air she acquired during surgery.

HOW GREAT IT WAS TO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER!

My jaw dropped when I saw Angie as I entered the room...she looked fantastic. I’ve always said if I could look like Angie on her worst day I’d be thrilled.. She gave me a smile and said I’m so glad you’re here. It was clear during my stay just why Angie has not taken any calls. She is very focused on her recovery and it can be quite exhausting. Angie is an incredible trooper. The most difficult part of my visit was watching a nurse try to find a vein for an IV and poked Angie 4 times with no success. Both Angie’s arms were swollen which made it difficult to find a vein. I saw her incision and was AMAZED! It was very thin and nothing like I imagined. 3 different nurses commented on how awesome Dr Janacik was with his sutures as he takes his time and one nurse said that he said, "if she has to have this for the rest of her life I’m going to make it look as good as possible." (I love this man!) Angie progressed tons in the 24 hours I saw her. She walked 3 times and sat in a chair 3 times and talked a little more after receiving a sponge bath. She also slept pretty good through the night I must say it was difficult to leave her. I tried not to get emotional and told her I’ll see her in a week or so...whenever they needed me. I have to say that Jerry does EVERYTHING to make sure Angie’s as comfortable as possible as well as doing all the things she’s supposed to do even if she’s not in the mood :( In addition he went to church this morning and brought Angie back the literature they passed out and called me to see what he can bring me to eat. He is an amazing. supportive husband. Together they have great faith in God, they’re doctor and an incredible love and respect for one another. Kyle had to work all weekend so I got to see his cute self briefly on Saturday night. Patty

A restful day

I returned to the hospital a little after 4 and Patty said Angie had slept pretty much the entire time. She had some swelling in her left arm, so the changed the IV to the right arm (the anesthesiologist had started one on each arm just in case). Angie wanted to sit in a chair for a little while, and the movement jarred her IV. The nurse tested it and confirmed it went bad. Due to her swelling she had a difficult time finding a vein - four pokes - no vein! She called in another nurse who was not all that confident in her IV abilities - but did hit a vein on her first try. After that Angie was ready to get back in bed. Patty is staying the night with her in the room in a not so comfortable reclining chair. Angie's excited to have Patty there with her. I checked out shortly after nine, picked Kyle up some chicken fingers and he and I are going to watch a movie.

She walked today

Just walked for the first time - went about fifty feet then back. Was complaining about her bladder being full, the catheter was not functioning. The nurses took a bladder scan and confirmed she was full - worked on the catheter for about 30 minutes - no change. They were just about to put a new catheter in when her nurse tried one more time to "flush" the line and "EUREKA" - they struck gold. Within minutes the smile returned to her face and she was much more comfortable. At just that time, her sister Patty arrived from Tuscon and brought more joy to her. I went and got Patty a bite and brought it back to the room - then came home to tend to the dog, caught up on email and made some edits to the blog - will be headed back to the hospital shortly.

Catching Up

I didn't POST last night when I got home from the hospital - it's amazing how tiring laying around a hospital room can be - I got some needed rest. Yesterday was a good day for Angie, not much of an appetite (liquid diet only) but she did consume a fair amount of water and of course the IV keeps her hydrated as well. She's still in a great deal of pain and discomfort, but hey she'd been out of surgery for only a little over 24 hours when I left - so we should see that subside as the days progress. The nursing staff has been terrific - treating her like the princess she is! Dr. Janicek is taking the weekend off (well deserved from our standpoint) and we'll see a colleague of his over the next 2 days. The "catheter" may come out today, if so that will mean getting up to use the bathroom. Kyle brought his mom some flowers in yesterday, then alter a delivery of roses arrived from the Conkey's. This added to a beautiful arrangement that arrived the day before surgery from brother Ed. The nurses are commenting that she has the best smelling room on the floor. Will try to post a message tonight.

The morning after...

The doctor came in this morning and talked with us. He confirmed that there was nothing unusual in what he found - full labs available next week. Told Angie she was great and together they would fight this. The nurses just had her sit up and put her in a chair - she is resting well. I told her to let me know when she's ready for phone calls. She's still pretty weak with the lack of food. Watch the Blog for the all clear - then dial away.

Wow...what a day!

We arrived at the hospital at 9:30 as requested by the doctor in the event he was ready early. This after a night where Angie participated in a bowel prep, if you have not had the experience to participate or witness one - DON'T! At 10:10 they took Angie into pre-op and told me I could join her in 30 minutes. 55 minutes later I was taken back, then Kyle came about 30 minutes after that. The doctor arrived in Pre-Op about 1:40 and went over everything with us. He said he was a little behind schedule, but assured us that in his line of business you "don't make up time - you run late and later if need be!" He said she'd likely be in the hospital 6 days (not 4 as he originally said in his office) AND he said she'd go from surgery to ICU. We must have looked horrified because he immediately asked if we had discussed that prior - which we both responded no. He told Angie she'd be fine and warned me not to watch the clock and told us the anesthesiologist would be in shortly. The anesthesiologist and OR Nurse showed up about 2:05 and went over Angie's chart with us, the anesthesiologist commented he was recently in the same PRE-OP bed that Angie was in. Angie asked him if it was serious and he commented that he had his kidney's removed due to cancer - he said that it was "ALL GOOD" - and that she'd have the same outcome if not better. At about 2:15 they asked her for her cocktail order, provided her the initial dose and wheeled her away. Kyle went out to eat and to let the dog out, I had a bowl of "HOMEMADE CHILI" from the cafeteria (not really that homemade). Did a reasonably good job of not watching the clock (Doctors orders) - Kyle was back about an hour into it - and at 6:30 Dr. Janicek appeared. He was very confident in his demeanor and we walked down the hall as he advised of the procedure. We talked for about 12 minutes, he commented how it went and that she did great and that he and the anesthesiologist did not see a need to send her to ICU. That in itself felt like a victory. When we met with Dr. Janicek in PRE-OP he was very serious and Angie even commented after he left that it brings it all back into focus and the seriousness of it. The Dr. Janicek I met with afterward was much different - he was smiling and proud of the procedure and the patient. We talked briefly about the NEXT STEPS and treatments, he did place a device in her that will aid in the administering of her treatments. The doctor was then off to perform his final procedure of the day. Now that Angie was NOT going to ICU I was concerned about her getting a room right away as all day families were being told that room availablility was an issue and their relatives were being held in recovery for 2-3 hours. After making my phone calls to family and friends I approached the reception desk and asked about Angie and was provided her room number on the spot. They said she'd still be in recovery for about 45 minutes, so I went up to her room to get her belongings unpacked and arranged. She has a room to herself (only 1 bed) - simple but nice. Right at about the 45 minute mark she arrived - and looked great! She had not had anything to drink since midnight so you could imagine how dry her mouth was. Once they got her transferred to her bed we got some ice chips - which at first she had me rub on her lips. She was worried she'd be nauseous - but finally started taking them. She's in some pain as you can imagine, she has a "pain meds" button that she can push as needed. I stayed with her until midnight - at that point felt it was in both of our best interest for me to go home and get some rest. We said our goodnights - I kissed her for everyone and will be back at her side tomorrow.